Well Mum Well Baby Blog

What do you do all day?

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

If you are a mum or dad who stays at home ....when your partner comes home from work how do you describe your day?

It can be a real challange putting into words just how busy looking after a baby is...to outsiders it may look as if you are doing very little...! In fact we are raising the next generation!

I am reading a book called "What Mothers Do" by Naomi Stadlin and it is brilliant!

Highly highly recommend new parents read this book- it covers all the stuff a new mum could be aware of to ...

When the books don't help.

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

A new mum presented with an all too common issue. Initially it was not apparent what the cause of her distress was. She felt overwhelmed, exhausted and in over her head. She had a 3 week old baby.

After some questioning the mum mentioned she was reading a book about getting your baby into a routine. Immediately my antenna went up. What was this book that claimed a 3 week old baby could be set into a routine? Was it working? I wanted to hear all about it.

Without prejudice I asked her how the r...

Well Mum Well Baby in the News!

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

This article is fantastic- more research coming out that supports what Well Mum Well Baby does!

http://www.smh.com.au/national/health/early-intervention-eases-relationship-stress-of-first-baby-20121024-286cg.html

Screen Time

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

How does screen time (TV, computer, video games) affect your child?

Today my kids were on the go, outside all day in the beautiful weather.

After dinner they were exhausted so we agreed they could watch a movie- I have no problem with this at all...

The problem arose when the movie finished...both my 5 yr old and 8 yr old were in a terrible and cranky mood!

I have seen this many times, post TV...Screen time, although it look relaxing, is actually a stimulating activity. My kids rarely watch ...

Consumerism

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

Is it just me or does anyone else feel that there is just too much stuff?

What I mean is that there are so many products, toys, gizmos and gadgets available to new mums/dads and their kids, and I am asking....do we really need them?

Today my 8 year old learnt to ride her bike- granted, it is a little on the late side! However, it took till age 5 for my younger one to learn....This got me thinking...there are bikes available for 1-2 year olds. Is it crazy that we start to buy our babies bikes...

Relationship over Rules

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

It's the school holidays and I am determined to live by the motto: Relationships over Rules for the next couple of weeks.

I want to be able to relax a bit more than usual as its the school hols and there is a less rigid structure to our days....it is more important that we all get along and have a bit of fun.

I have started tonight with a fun sleep over for Mr 5 year old in his older sister's bedroom..... I am having to accept that this fun may come at the cost of a later bedtime than usual....

Excercise and Mood

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

Now that the weather is warming up I have been a lot more motivated to get moving.

I am either walking or jogging for about 30 minutes on most days....an added benefit that I have noticed is that I just feel a lot brighter!

Research shows that excercise does in fact improve mood but actually experiencing it for yourself, as I am, I think is a great motivator to continue on with the excercise!

Do you get a buzz from excercise?

New workshop date

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

Are you having your baby at St Vincents's Hospital? Well Mum Well Baby is running a workshop for antenatal and postnatal mums and dads at St Vinvents Hospital on the 27th October....debrief and discuss the emotional aspects of becoming a parent. For more information email melanie@wellmumwellbaby.net.au

Great Post from Susan Rogan Family Care!

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

Array...

Having the right stuff

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

I talk about this in my workshop: the pressure for new parents to have all the "right stuff"

http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/avoiding-the-avalanche-of-baby-must-haves-175227

What were your expectations of pregnancy? How did you feel?

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

Have a read of this article:

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/08/07/pregnant-depressed-and-surprised/

Essential Baby Article

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

Here is an article I was quoted in:

http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/life-style/nutrition-and-wellbeing/no-more-sleepless-nights-for-anxious-mums-20120710-21tkf.html

Breaking News

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

I am so excited that the Well Mum Well Baby workshop is now being trialled at Freemason's Hospital on August 2nd ,2012!.....Essential antenatal education for new parents.

Mindful Parenting

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

Recently I have been learning a lot about mindfullness. It really is a way of life and requires a lot of practice...but the principles of mindfullness really resonate with me.

Being Mindful is being aware- but it is more than just awareness: we mostly use our analytical mind(brooding, rumination), not our awareness part- not all problems(emotional ones) need to be fixed with logic- some can be dealt with intuitively. When we can switch from automatic pilot to acceptance of thoughts, emotions...

Peri natal depression education- where does it fit in?

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

This is a question I hear very often. This is a question I have asked myself many times! Many people wonder why there is not much focus on perinatal depression during the antenatal classes, when it is such a common illness.

Having run my workshop a few times now on “emotional preparation for parenthood” I can now see that it is a very finely tuned skill to educate parents on how this massive transition might feel like, without freaking them out at the same time! I think it would take some qui...

Baby IN, Partner OUT.

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

It is really common for new dads to feel resentful and left out when a new baby arrives on the scene. Up until this point it has just been the two of you and now you are a family; becoming a family is a massive transition, not to be underestimated! It is incredibly common for partners to feel disconnected around this time, in fact one study quotes that 50% of couples rate the quality of their marriage as “in decline”, around this time.

It’s ok that there is a bit of space between you and you...

A few things I wish I had known about motherhood…..

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

I wish I had been aware that motherhood is about more than routines and settling- motherhood to me, is when a woman is re-born herself; when emotions come to the foreground and demand to be dealt with.
I wish I had been aware that the risk of being diagnosed with post natal depression was so high (1 in 7 women) and where to seek support.
I wish I had known that the risk of an anxiety disorder is even higher.
I wish I had known that it is normal to grieve the loss of the old me- that didn’t mak...

Healthshare

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

Have you seen this great website? http://www.healthshare.com.au/

You can log on and ask health professionals any question you like and get up to date information on the spot!

I am one of their health professionals so if you have a question on emotional wellbeing for parenthood please ask away!

Online Chat Tuesday 3rd April

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

Join me tuesday night for a chat about Emotional Preparation for Parenthood!

Just sign up with twitter first or use current twitter account at this website:
http://twebevent.com/HealthyChat

Power Battles

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

My daughter was home last week and I was trying to get her to go to bed early to help her recover. I raised my voice and sternly said "Go to bed Abi, you won't get better without rest!" As she gave me a look she rolled over to go to sleep..I couldn't believe she had taken on my advice!... then as I was leaving her room, she called out " Don't think that because you shouted at me and I listened that it will work next time!"
...oh the power battles!

Nice Parenting Moments!

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

Last night after a long chat with my 7 year old daughter she thanked me for listening to her talk about her feelings and said she felt much lighter now.....nice to have a parenting moment when you feel you've done your job well.!

Have you had any satisfying parent moments like this lately?

Difficult Questions From Kids!

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

Intriguing discussion with my 4 year old today as he discovered that at some point in time he did not exist..."Mummy , so where was I before I was born?" ....what a GREAT question!....Hmm but how to answer it!??

Well, I thought that maybe he meant he needed an explanation on the baby growing in the womb but after clarifying with him, it wasn't this.

Then I thought he needed to know how babies are made- but no, he didnt want to know this either.

It was a philisophical question about his e...

Hi- Thanks for visiting my website!

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

Preparation for Parenthood

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

Watch this video, to meet me!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFNAZHPUWks&context=C32b34c8ADOEgsToPDskIlZwwjrZFzADa9OUtxMVTP

Gender Differences

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

Well, today I had a get together for my 7 year old daughter and invited all 10 of the girls in her class over....yes, I know, you are thinking "mad woman!"

The reason for such a large get together in the absence of a birthday was that my daughter and a friend had been working on a show (with 5 parts!) and wanted to perform it for the girls.

After mulling over it for a while with my husband, we decided, yes, we should encourage her love of drama and the idea of bringing all her friends together...

Mr Maker

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

Has anyone ever seen the ABC2 show called Mr Maker? My 4 year old son is bessoted with him!!!

Before watching this show my son barely put a pen to paper and now he is SO excited by boxes, glue, pens paper, sticky tape and almost anything else that can be turned into a craft project!

I think Mr Maker is a great role model- TV is not always a bad thing!!!

Transition

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

My workshop is all about the challanges faced by men and women as they transition from a couple to a family.....I think this is one of the major transitions that we face over the years but after putting my sobbing 7 year old to bed , I realised there are transitions big and small for kids and adults alike which happen on a regular basis....this is change -that is an inevitable part of life....change is harder for some than others.

My 7 year old is coping with the transition from school holida...

Bonding with Baby

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

Here are some statments about bonding- have a go at rating them as True or False and next week I will post the answers!

You will feel an instant attachment to your baby
Bonding can take place up to 2 years
Every mum will find their baby beautiful when born
Bonding is not a now or never phenomena

....there are many myths about bonding- lets get the facts straight!

Answers:

False

True

False

True

Postnatal Anxiety

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

It was Post Natal Depression Awareness Week in November.

During the week, I was talking to a client and suddenly had a thought- why is there no "post natal anxiety" awareness week??

Anxiety is EVEN MORE common than depression after the birh of a baby, yet it doesn't get as much media exposure. Anxiety can be just as disabling as depression.

...... Did you suffer from anxiety after the birth of your baby?

The Nature of Change

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

It took a comment from my husband this morning to get me thinking about how our routine has changed over the last few years.

We were sitting and sitting and sitting some MORE this morning, reading the paper when my husband commented that he had read every bit of the paper from back to front and needed something else to read. I too had just about tackled everything in the Sunday paper of interest to me.

So, you may ask why is this something to write home about?

The reason it got me thinking is...

Staying Connected

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

Today my family attended the annual school carnival.

It was a great day and although there were plenty of sweet treats, fun activities and craft stalls....those things were not what made the day so special.

What made the day special was the connection I felt to the school community.
It was so uplifting to serve popcorn to familiar friendly faces, be in a space where my kids felt safe and comfortable and be a part of a group.

Connectedness has been linked to the health of individuals and communit...

Bonding with Baby

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

So you are pregnant now, but have you thought about how you might feel towards your baby when he /she is born?
The way a mum and dad react to their newborn is really variable- it is quite normal not to find your baby beautiful straight away, just as it can be normal to fall in love straight away with bub. For some parents the bonding process is quick, for others slow. There are many factors involved in the bonding process including baby temprament, baby's health (if they are sick bonding will...

Baby Temperament

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

Have you thought about what sort of baby you might be having?
Will she be easy going, calm, happy by nature and quiet?
Will he be sensitive, anxious, cry a lot of the time and clingy?

The temperament of a baby is what they are hard wired to be- we cannot change this. I am reading a really interesting book at the moment called "The Highly Sensitive Child"- If only I had read this book 7 years ago when I was first getting to know my baby daughter! She is now a beautiful 1st grader who agonises ov...

Partner Statistics

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

A recent study of more than 250 couples , followed from pregnacy to their childs 3rd birthday showed that couples rated their relationship into the following categories:

12% severe decline
39% moderate decline
30% no change
19% improved

I don't want to be negative but the reality is that having a new baby is a time when there is a risk that partners can disconnect.

Have you got any plans to "babyproof" your partnership?

Here are a few tools that might help:
1. Being aware of healthy communication
2. ...

Watch Your Language!

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

I was thinking today just what a limiting word "should" is.....
When we impose the word "should" on ourselves it creates a rigid set of expectations-it puts unreasonable demands on ourselves and the rest of the world.
I think new and pregnant mums are especially good at being hard on themselves in this way.....
....." I should be able to breast feed"
......" I should be able to calm my baby"
....well, why should you? You have never done these things before, they are completely new skills! We woul...

Reality VS Expectations

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

Hello pregnant ladies!
Just wondering if anyone has started to wonder what the reality of motherhood will be like?
Is it difficult to think beyond the pregnancy and the birth/labour?
Or do you imagine what everyday life with a baby will be like?
Often the realities of having a young baby are very different from what we expect.
I remember (pre-baby) wondering why friends with young babies could never find time to catch up with me when they were no longer working.....well did I understand the answ...

Parent Priorities

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

Are you a new mum(or dad, for that matter!) finding your way in the weird and wonderful world of parenthood? I wonder what your priorities are on a day to day basis while looking after your new baby? Who or what comes first? It would be an interesting exercise to order the following list from highest to lowest priority as you go about your day. Of course, there is no right and wrong answer, we all have different ideas as to what matters most....the point is to get you thinking about what nee...

PREPARATION FOR PARENTHOOD: WHAT DID YOU DO?

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

HAVE A LOOK HERE:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFNAZHPUWks&feature=related

Giveaway!!!

Sun, 10 Mar 2013 12:55:45 +0800

GIVEAWAY! LOOK!:

Babysitters and More have kindly given me a Super Solution membership valued at $95.95 to give away! This includes 3 months access to the Babysitters and More website; including all Tools and Resources and the Jobs Board. To win the Super Solution membership just email melanie@wellmumwellbaby.net.au with your name, address and phone number and tell me in 100 words or less why you should win the membership!

Terms and Conditions: Entrants must be Australian residents. Limit o...